Almost every human is actively pursuing relationship. We like having friends. We are afraid of being left out and isolated.
The reality is relationships are hard. They induce conflict, annoyances, offenses, and frustrations. They are sources of stress and they demand so much from us. Many relationships end in failure and heartbreak. Yet we still pursue them with passion. Despite their challenges, relationships remain a significant source of value in people’s lives.
Validation- Everybody wants to be important. Meaning and purpose are the main driver for every human soul. Relationships are the mechanism by which we measure and experience importance. Our worst punishment is solitary confinement. Our biggest fear is isolation and rejection.
All of our struggles with relationships come when we abuse our need for validation. We act as if we are the only one in the relationship needing validation. We see others as our cheerleaders. We abuse and manipulate others to get the validation we seek.
But all of the beauty within our relationships comes when we increase our need for validation in unity with the needs of others.
The strange reality is that we are at our best when we serve. We receive the sense of importance by loving and empowering others and receiving the same from those around us.
The reason we long for relationships is because we are searching for these divine things. We want something more than ourself. And as hard as it is, as frustrating and annoying as it can be, we know deep down that meaning is bigger than the parameters of our lives.
We cannot find meaning without relationships, and that is the reason we seek it out relentlessly.